Heroes and Villains

Thanks to Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, I understand the motivation behind just about every classic fictional villain ever.

When you're a freak, a weirdo, a nerd, an outcast- like I am- people from either side can potentially reject you. You know how I said before that I was politically, morally, and religiously smack dab in the middle, neither right or left? The left or the culturally hardcore or the morally loose would likely think that I'm too conservative, too cautious, and that I'm setting my bar too high. The right or the uptight or the morally rigid would likely be shocked by my extreme tastes in music, my enjoyment of select comedy with sex jokes and swear words, and my views on natural selection and intelligence.

Or as Treebeard put it, "I'm on nobody's side, because no one is on my side."

Being an outsider, feeling alienated and alone, can make you feel disdain for those who reject you- which ironically makes you reject them back.

If an outsider is pushed too far, it can have dangerous consequences. I should know- the dark brooding and heartbreak I've felt over the years has made me weak to temptation more than once. These are very dark thoughts I'm talking about, people. From what I've seen of villain origin stories, the story often goes like this: the villain, not quite crossed over, is either different from everyone else or is trying to do something different. Everybody around hates him/her for it. When something dear is taken away from them, they swear vengeance on those who took it- and they expand on that by swearing vengeance on the SORT of people who would take it.

I recently came face to face with my dark side. I had seen it before without realizing it. But now that I recognize it, I fear it- and I will do everything I can to keep it from controlling me. I've been teetering over the edge for years now, and only now do I recognize that- so now I'm determined to stay strong and keep a firm grip on the goodness in my heart. Praying that God enter my heart has helped a lot.