What's the deal with neo-paganism?

I keep finding these neo-pagan bits and pieces, often filled with buzzwords like "tuning in" and "connecting" and "becoming one", and it always ends with the word "nature".

I love nature. I GET it, okay? It's beautiful, it's God's creation, I love it, and I want to protect it. I want to make friends with animals. I believe that animals have souls and feelings and go to heaven. How can there possibly be more to it?

I keep hearing talk about how most aren't connected or tuned in with nature. I understand that most people are blind to its beauty, and more often than not, carelessly destroy it. But what is this "tuning in" nonsense? What, is nature a radio signal or something? Listen to the flower people! Gimme a break.
I honestly don't believe that nature holds any deep, profound spiritual secrets, as if there was some sort of demigod sealed within a tree who will tell you the meaning of life. Everything I need to know about nature is already in front of my eyes, and I don't need some animal spirit guide to take me on some journey to the center of the mind to see it. I look into an animal's eyes and I see a personality, an emotion, a primitive desire. I look at a flower and I see vibrant colors, an elegant shape, a delicate smell. I was BORN with an appreciation for beauty, so that's all bonehead obvious to me. What more could I possibly need?
What I don't get is why people keep talking as if there's some puzzle to figure out, and that once I start meditating in the middle of a Celtic forest, everything will become clear to me and I will be enlightened. Not only that, nobody explains to me what on earth this "answer" that I'm supposed to get IS... everyone's so vague about it. One person said to me that the wisdom received depended on the person. With that logic, I can conclude that there isn't any actual secret or whatever, and that it's all open to interpretation. This "knowledge" that you speak of is therefore created within, not from the outside. In other words, you can make something up, attach it to a tree or whatever, and decide whether or not it works for you.

Quite honestly, the idea that animals are hiding some sort of hidden knowledge, buried deep underneath their primal, instinctive exteriors that requires some spirit journey to excavate out kind of creeps me out. If some backyard raccoon turned out to actually be some sort of guru covered in fur, everything I hold dear about nature would be shattered. I believe that there are only two layers in a living being: the outside, which is the physical body, and the inside, which is the soul. And the eyes are the window to the soul, darn it. If I don't see a glowing heavenly light in someone's eyes, then it isn't there.

I really don't think that there's anything more to it. It's all in the Book of Genesis: we, mankind, are sent here on earth, among nature, to protect and befriend nature. To make peace with nature. It is God's most beautiful creation, and it is worthy of praise- simply because it's His handiwork, and it's gosh darn pretty. If you want some spiritual guidance, talk to God- He'll answer. Eliminate the middle man.

Becoming one with nature = DUHRRR...