Why Adventure Time gets my goat

I suppose if anyone reads this, they'll get mad that I'm harping on their favorite show or something.

Here's the thing...
I watched an episode of this show. I did not laugh.
I found the episode to be mostly incoherent, disappointing, and lacking in punchlines. The advertising tends to be loud and repetitive.

So yeah. I don't have so much of a problem with the show itself... but when something that so underwhelms me and resembles nothing I ever saw as a kid becomes so beloved, and some guy on YouTube claims nostalgia is the key, and so many adults adore it, I get mad.

I don't know what kind of childhood these adult fans had, but they couldn't be anything like the one I had. I can't relate to the show in any shape or form.
I understand the comparisons to fairy tales that've been made, but when my childhood was filled with cartoons like Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, Rugrats, Hey Arnold!, Angry Beavers, Darkwing Duck, Pinocchio and The Lion King, and comics like Calvin & Hobbes and Peanuts, what possible connection could I possibly feel to a cartoon that looks like amateurish high school notebook doodles? It doesn't even look like any video games I ever played!

I suppose I shouldn't be all that surprised. I couldn't relate to other kids even when I was a kid. The most popular movies at the time had to do with basketball and schoolroom drama. I was always picked on.
I've had one big desire ever since then- to be accepted by the people around me. To have somebody to talk to about the stuff I love. Without getting into heated arguments.
So when all this '90s nostalgia comes around, I feel a sense of hope- the remaining fans of 90's cartoons and kid entertainment, I always surmised, would be the nerds and social rejects who never fell prey to the idea that "old" equals "bad".

So when somebody goes around telling me the NOSTALGIA is what Adventure Time is founded on- what draws young adult fans to it- something so completely alien that I am regularly repulsed by the sight of its characters and design, and look upon as the antithesis of everything I loved as kid...
THAT SUCKS.

Do you have any idea how alienating that is? It hurts.

So what the hell were these people watching on TV in the '90s? Captain Noodlearms and the Rainbow Slush Brigade?
Who are these people? How could it be that Adventure Time reminds them of what it was like to be a kid? Are you telling me that the nerds who refuse to abandon their inner child are NOT people I can befriend??
...Do I even belong on this planet?

I guess all I've got are the bronies.

It's not the show that I hate. It's the phenomenon.