Thursday, July 30, 2009

What matters most

I was taught that what REALLY mattered was what contributed most to your success and future- and most importantly, your morality.

I've been told numerous times that I'm extremely creative, talented, smart, and wise beyond my years. At the same time, I try to be a kind, modest, helpful, and moral person. I've been working really hard on the things that need to get done in order to start my professional career in art.

It's day-to-day responsibility and socializing that I need to work on.

So why is it that when I do so much to be kind and helpful to others, believe in the Word of the Bible, and prepare for my art career- work on my art projects daily, upload them online for all to see, buy proper equipment and reference, all to gain publicity and hopefully start getting paychecks and a steady job so I can live on my own, support a wife, finance my future dream projects, live the American dream, make the world a better place, and go to heaven- I STILL GET CHASTISED FOR LEAVING OUT A PLATE OR FORGETTING TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH??

Despite everything I do to become a better person, and despite all my focus on the loftier, more God-oriented, and really important things, the world around me seems to care far more about whether or not I give someone a polite smile, make small talk, and avoid fidgeting- or if I do the laundry regularly and keep everything tidy. I try my best to do these things right so I can teach myself responsibility- which has far more applications than most realize- but my apparent failure to know how to deal with "real life" seems to be a bigger deal than my failures to reach my life goals.

Some reality. That sort of thing isn't reality to me. It's more of a means to appear normal, and therefore "sane" and "socially acceptable", than it is a means to become a better person. It's all about appearances. Hey, look- that guy is making eye contact and not stammering! He MUST be a functional human being!

Feh. If I wasn't so concerned about keeping a good reputation and pleasing others, I'd tell the world to go jump in a very deep lake and drown. MY job is to rescue you people from a watery grave, not give you a polite smile and offer to wash the dishes. YOUR job is to appreciate it.


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